I hope that if St. Peter tells any jokes about snatching a pebble from his hand, Caradine snatches out that motherfucker’s eye Pai Mei style. I like to think that if David Carradine was into some strange sex stuff, that wherever he is, he doesn’t give a shit what you think about him. He practiced his kinky shit in the closet of an expensive hotel room hidden on the other side of the world.  I say he’s allowed to do whatever he wants in that closet as long as it doesn’t involved under-aged Thai Errand Boys.

And if he was murdered I hope he is haunting the crap out of the assassin.  David Caradine was amazing.  To think he’s in his late 60’s doing a monologue in a Tarantino flick while making sandwiches.  I hope I’m doing something half as cool when I’m in my 60s–like making sandwiches.

I suppose he could have owed someone money for hookers and coke, but even then who kills a 72 year old celebrity to make a point? It seems sketchy at best the whole assassination theory, but who knows? People are weird–I hear some people choke themselves while they masturbate.  Some gang boss somewhere might just be saying, “I killed Grasshopper from Kung Fu.” Then his underling says, “But boss he was 72.” To which the gang boss fires three times at the underling and everyone shares a hearty laugh.

For what it’s worth, I’m a fan.  I’m watching the Kung Fu pilot tonight.   Some of the people I make fun of most are my loved ones, I’m giving fair warning to those that would cry too soon: this is a two parter.

-Matt