You got your American Idol on your TV, your seven children have had their Mighty Kids Meals, you know your Trucknutz are still hanging with care from your raised 4×4, yet for some reason you just can’t get comfortable. Your blanket, it’s all tucked in on one side you can’t reach your Cheetos. You my friend need a Snuggie. If you’re starting a cult serendipitously enough they come in cultist maroon.
Again I say the end is nigh. It’s only a short time before people start wearing omni-outfits so they can be fat, comfortable and buy them in bulk. I’ve already been seeing it on the streets of Orange County for some time: High Fashion Track Suits. I admit to being slovenly–I wear sandals a lot. I like to think that I draw the line somewhere. That line is at the Snuggie. It’s a slippery slope though one day I might wake up and feel the need for a blanket with fucking arm holes in it. Speaking of which, I hear that if you have sex through the arm hole of a Snuggie you can’t get pregnant. You’re an armhole. Armhole: It’s a worm hole that warps your arm through space and time to find a remote control and chips. Fuck it I’m getting one.
-Matt
Hmmm…a thong and boy shorts. I never would have guessed.
I didn’t want to know
How’d you guys get Gary Busey to come to your party!? Also, is Don raising the roof!? By himself no less…. BAD DON, BAD!
Snuggies! hahaha, missed that the first time.
I disagree with this representation of Matt. He has no back hair!
I thought it was Nick Nolte at first. And the thong disturbs me in many many ways
My original Draft of this actually had 4 panels of butt joke where they discussed in the panels how many panels they could do it for without it becomming unfunny. They estimated three. Then there was a fourth silent panel. Don talked me out of it though.
No ass-showing uniform is complete without a trusty pair of crocs!
Rofl, hadn’t really considered footwear options, this would be a contender. The Italian Stallion of Plastic Shoes.
If you see me wearing a Snuggie, a sideways trucker hat, and Crocs while eating A KFC Mashed Potato Bowl in front of a reality TV marathon, it is my way to saying I have given up all hope and I am ready to die. Even though I am not high profile for certain sections of hell I would like the charred earth in between the reserved spots for Benny Hinn and Bill O’Reilly. I also want Geraldo Rivera reporting the dramatics of the ass kicking I lay down on them from many miles away in hells safe Zone acting like he is getting hit by charred Snuggie and the blood of self righteousness.