Posts Tagged ‘Tv’
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You take for granted some things in life will always be around: monuments, your parents, museums, even a good book. I grew up a PBS Kid. A day without Sesame Street was my personal 9/11. I did not suffer fools that caused me to miss a moment of Snuffleupagus. I had a long memory when slighted back then.
Once there was no more Sesame Street to be had, I settled for a post coital cuddle with Mr. Rogers, The Electric Company, and Reading Rainbow. I even watched that one show you can barely remember with the creepy-ass male mannequin that would come to life after the mall closed. If you don’t remember the title, I don’t blame you it was kind of a let down when I researched it. It’s just called Today’s Special.
Naively I thought these shows would be around for my kids someday. Unbeknowest to me and probably many of you, Reading Rainbow actually stopped making new episodes as of 2006. LeVar Burton hung up his Butterflies three years ago, and I was not consulted. The recent news of Reading Rainbow being canceled is actually PBS deciding it doesn’t want to spend the money to renew the reruns. My mother growing up actually picked up quite a few books based on the shows recommendations around the time I was three or four. I suppose I’ll just pick it up on dvd at some point when I come across them in a bargain bin.
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With Don heading to Comic Con for the weekend, I’m left to my own devices to keep entertained. I’m really sad I couldn’t make it but the 5 bucks I made on those smurfs more than makes up for it. Don hopefully, will keep us posted on comic con goings on via a blog on Monday and perhaps a few tweets. Now it’s a waiting game to see if Scott Kurtz has Don removed from the premises or not. Stay tuned for possible geek mugshots.
For those of you that haven’t heard, if you link to us via forum or blog we will, in fact, draw you a picture that you can use as an avatar of your very own. Don right now is putting a lot of prep work into our fliers for the SD Comic Con, but we will get them to you soon. For those of you that would still like one we have a few left. I’m not sure on the exact number, I just got in from a 4 day tour de force in Northern California, but I think we have a little less than 10 left.
Today’s comic is one of many reasons while I’ll never be tapped to write the next best romantic comedy. This is as close to writing romantic fiction I’ll ever get. In my day to day relationship with the wonderfully patient Tina similar awful things tend to spew forth from oafish filterless Matt. Lucky for me often times, she just laughs. Before the ladies reading the site burn me alive, I did get her permission to post the comic.
A lot of webcomic creators often talk about gaining an audience–they suggest you talk about selling yourself as a person, and let people get to know you. Maybe my day to day inner workings are best left unwritten and perhaps you’d rather remain a stranger. I’m not sure. I’ll keep writing these until some sort of court order gets involved. Special thanks to Tina for putting up with my funnybook making ass and being willing to laugh at this strip–while giving me a dirty look.
Some news: If you did not see our special Don Illustrated/Matt written edition of Addanac City mosey on over here. Thanks and welcome to everyone from Addanac that came over and checked out our stuff–especially those of you who commented.
I imagine if I had my own cult of followers, that acted exactly like me, I’d get irritated pretty quick. I’m kind of a snarky jerk. Thus concludes our cultist series. We have another multiparter coming up for you guys in another week or two.
We have some news! We did a guest comic for another webcomic artist, George Ford, he is currently on a costal move to California from Virgina. This will display on his site tomorrow (Friday the 3rd). It will be here. If you’re hooked into our Twitter and/or Facebook I’ll do my best to remind you. It’s a crossover with our characters and his, so consider it a bonus comic.
A note about the Gundam reference in the comic if you haven’t seen the real deal check it out, it’s really amazing!
Today’s comic continues our cultist series, ties in with Independence Day, and even opens us up for a review of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I’m not going to go into one of my huge long in depth reviews simply because this film doesn’t warrant it. It is what it is. If you enjoy watching Michael Bay trying to outdo himself and blow shit up in bigger and better ways you’ll most likely enjoy the movie. The caveat is if you are expecting other typical movie elements, such as plot, acting, or plausibility you’re probably not going to enjoy this film. I can enjoy it on the same level that I enjoyed Shoot Em Up. I went in for action and Robots punching each other. There was even bonus Decepticon Trucknutz. You earned my doll hairs Michael Bay. I know the fans of our Trucknutz strip are upset we didn’t do a comic about it, but our friend Joel over at Hininks Ensue beat us to the robot junk punch.
Only two things got in the way of my efficient enjoyment of robots punching each other. One: There’s a point in the movie where Optimus is stabbing a robot larger than himself that’s rolling down the streets of China, while on top of it, awesome right? Until he bellows: “Pull over!” My eyes rolled so hard it was gangster. Two: In the end desert fight sequences, all the Decepticons with the exception of like two look exactly like baby Megatrons–I dub them Chrome Shirts. Iron Hide kills what looks to be the same Decepticon 15 times. Other than that, robot killing action is had. I give this sucker a D+ as a film over all. C+-B- if you curve the grade to just include Michael Bay films. It’s like watching a grown man play out the childhood trauma of never being allowed to light fireworks on the 4th–not even a sparkler. So remember this 4th if you let your child stay safe and sane, odds are he’s going to make a 200 Million Dollar blockbuster with no substance–or a webcomic about a giant robot flipping the bird. It’s a cointoss really.
Firstly, the reviews are in. Darren over at The Movie Blog reviewed us, check it out here! Thanks again Darren for pouring through the Archives and taking the time.
On to the Blog:
“They say the nicest things about you when die. Your popularity goes straight up when you die. They say the greatest things that can be said. They’ll even make stuff up if they have to. ‘Well, he was a real asshole but he meant well.’ ‘He was a well meaning asshole.’” -George Carlin
“Francisco Franco is still dead.” -Chevy Chase
Day 5, Michael Jackson is still dead. There’s no amount of one gloved clapping that’s going to change this. Yet all weekend long we’re still hearing breaking news about it. And when I say it, I mean the most famous corpse currently above ground. If you really liked Michael, I understand, no one likes to see one of their favorite entertainers go. My major annoyance here is with the media and how they’re grinding one last scandal from his bones. They’re so trained that the Pavlovian Response to Michael Jackson having a heart attack under the care of his personal cardiologist (something a rich person prone to heart attacks might have) was to stand in front of the LA coroner’s office waiting for the dirt. Worst of all is the tone of these reports. The somber ‘We’re going to miss Michael attitude. This death is a grave loss to humanity’ (pun intended). These same reporters a year or two ago were reporting about how he looked like Captain Crunch in his zany outfits in court, while painting him as a child molester with a thick coat of subtext.
I’m no saint, you’ve seen my David Carradine Comic and you’ve just read this one. I made fun of MJ while he was alive, and even though he’s dead, and I really enjoy Thriller, I don’t plan on either of those stopping me from poking a little fun. My attitude hasn’t changed, he’s a very talented very weird guy. I liked Axl Rose in the 80s and 90s too, that doesn’t mean I want to party with his ass.
I actually wasn’t going to do this comic because I thought too many people would be tackling this subject. Two things changed my mind, everyone I knew either let me know they knew what Monday’s comic was about or were giving me MJ comic ideas. I’ve never gotten emails and calls about potential comics before, thanks guys especially Chris and Travis for your input. Secondly when I got home from work on Friday my local news let me know they were going to continue their MJ coverage for the next hour and would be reporting back live from the LA coroner’s office.
And if you miss him, here’s the sincerest tribute you’ll find on the web. If it’s your first day on the internet and you haven’t seen the original it’s here.
I wrote last Thursday’s comic when I sat down Wednesday to write the blog for this one. I really wasn’t sure which was funnier, usually when I have two ideas for a webcomic I can pick one, but here I liked them both so you’re getting both. I was hoping there would be some further news on the David Carradine investigation so I’d have more to talk about here but no go.
Just remember if you’re going to choke your elf while you choke yourself be safe¹. Perhaps have a spotter. If the comic doesn’t work out I suppose I can always go get a CPR card and get a job as the world’s first Auto-erotic Asphyxiation Spotter. Technically it’s not just paying some dude to watch you jerk of, it’s paying some dude to watch you jerk off safely. Dear lord, I can’t wait to see what Google Adsense picks for this cute little blog. Remember folks, jerk often and jerk safe. Your body may be an amusement park, but be sure to pull the lap bar all the way down.
¹ “Your elf” was originally a type-o for “yourself” I left your elf because it made me laugh.
I hope that if St. Peter tells any jokes about snatching a pebble from his hand, Caradine snatches out that motherfucker’s eye Pai Mei style. I like to think that if David Carradine was into some strange sex stuff, that wherever he is, he doesn’t give a shit what you think about him. He practiced his kinky shit in the closet of an expensive hotel room hidden on the other side of the world. I say he’s allowed to do whatever he wants in that closet as long as it doesn’t involved under-aged Thai Errand Boys.
And if he was murdered I hope he is haunting the crap out of the assassin. David Caradine was amazing. To think he’s in his late 60’s doing a monologue in a Tarantino flick while making sandwiches. I hope I’m doing something half as cool when I’m in my 60s–like making sandwiches.
I suppose he could have owed someone money for hookers and coke, but even then who kills a 72 year old celebrity to make a point? It seems sketchy at best the whole assassination theory, but who knows? People are weird–I hear some people choke themselves while they masturbate. Some gang boss somewhere might just be saying, “I killed Grasshopper from Kung Fu.” Then his underling says, “But boss he was 72.” To which the gang boss fires three times at the underling and everyone shares a hearty laugh.
For what it’s worth, I’m a fan. I’m watching the Kung Fu pilot tonight. Some of the people I make fun of most are my loved ones, I’m giving fair warning to those that would cry too soon: this is a two parter.
-Matt
Up front and honest–I’ve never read a Dan Brown book. My girlfriend made go see Angels and Demons, she reads Dan Brown books. This webcomic was written with her perspective in mind. Let me give you my layperson’s review. If you like the beginning of Baywatch where you watch all the girls run, but would rather see them replaced with Tom Hanks this is the movie for you. Instead of a beach, he runs through Rome examining church statues for clues. Also instead of saving drowning victims when he gets to their churches he watches priests be murdered in ways themed with medieval elements. I guess if you were a childhood victim of the Catholic Church that second part may add some therapeutic value to the movie as well.
My major problem with this is the whole time the Catholic Church is painted as the bad guy from top to bottom no matter who you suspect is in this “who done it”. From all angles the church started it so it’s their fault. So when these priests continue to die with increasing speed throughout the night, you’re not really caring about them. From what my girlfriend tells me they took out at least one medium to large sized character from the novel that makes it to the end of the story as well as removed a relationship between two of the characters making a murder victim really insignificant. Also the ending is changed not enough to change the tenor of the finale, but just enough to make the church save a tiny bit of face yet make the point of the film slightly less cool.
The story itself, included the Hadron Collider you may remember this from geek science articles about 4-6 months ago. Back then we discovered that the blackholes/antimatter everyone was concerned about didn’t swallow us whole and actually dissipate themselves. This movie is mostly based around a bomb that’s going to swallow Vatican City whole–much like Paris Hilton swallowed the gay biker from South Park. As a geek this bothered me. I know it was probably to late to pull a plug on the movie or change the script by the time the real Collider disintegrated the plot, but I was definately grumbling in the theater about it.
Towards the end of the movie Tom Hanks falls into come sort of catacomb with skulls in it. I’m like ‘finally shit’s about to go down, we’re not going to be staring at pointing statues anymore–Indiana Jones shit is about to happen’. I realize at this point I have to Pee; my frequent movie watcher soda was a bad choice. I sprint to the restroom hoping not to miss the cool part. I came back and asked my girlfriend what happened. She says nothing, he just climbed out of the tunnel. I think she’s just pissed that I had pissed during her film. So I ask again, 3, 4 times. She assures me nothing happened in this cool cavern with skulls on the floor. I was definitely glad I peed.
While we thought it would make the webcomic too busy, Don thought it important to note that I wanted to have Clint Howard saying “Who’s cuter now?” (one of my favorite Simpson’s lines) in panel 3.
-Matt
If you haven’t heard the news, a couple of weeks ago on Fark I found out that JJ Abrams owns the rights to Steven Kings Dark Tower opus. It’s got cowboys, shooting, wizards, AI powered trains, robots, vampires, psychics, swearing, sex, and shooting. Oh my, I don’t know about you but I feel feint. There are a couple of problems, hurdles if you will, till the Gunslinger starts to chase the Man in Black across the desert on an Imax near me.
Apparently this JJ Abrams character does other things. He puts out this show Lost you may have heard of it. He’s not doing another movie till it’s done with it’s last season. I guess I’ll wait for that. However, they’re also in talks for a Star Trek Sequel already. Frankly, while I enjoyed the new movie imensly and I’ve seen more than my fair share of Trek–and I have a lot of seasons of different flavors of Trek available to me. I’ve never even touched deepspace nine and I’ve only seen like 5 epsisodes of Enterprise. I want some Gunslinger now. And I want it to feel like Unforgiven, Shawshank Redemption, Lord of the Rings all gang banged the new Star Trek and no one knows who the daddy is. This comic is my plea. Please make a trek Sequel, but give us Roland of Gilead first. And then you can spend the next 15-20 years making a Star Trek then Dark Tower movie every other year. Congrats JJ Abrams king of the nerds.